Put down that chocolate!

All these while I'm trying to lose my weight, I can never seem to put the chocolate away. I like chocolate cakes, chocolate drinks, Starbucks' chocolate ice blended, chocolate covered almonds or any nuts, chocolate everything. Well, almost everything.

I'm like standing on a fragile string with the I-don't-need-chocolate-in-my-life's determination. Of course down below if I fall, would be straight into a pool of chocolate. At times I succumb to the temptation and let myself fall freely into the pool. At times, I climb back up again and holding up just fine. Of course, it will be much easier if only my housemate, Frank is not a chocolate addict. But because he is and knows that I like chocolate, the fridge is mostly full with chocolate products, especially chocolate bars. He always brings back chocolate from his travels. As a result, I've been lingering in front of the fridge longer than I should, pulling my hands from side to side while debating with myself whether I should grab one and just eat it. The only up side of this is Frank likes plain chocolate bar. I on the other hand, don't. He doesn't know that. Yet.

The craving can be devastating sometimes. Like yesterday, while I was at work finishing off my job until late, my manager came over and brought some chocolate nuggets and offered them to me. How could I say no? I took one and gobbled it up and it was pure heaven. That's what I think about heaven too. A place full of delicious chocolates where you'll never get fat from eating so much of it. However since I wasn't in heaven (still am not), I spent almost half an hour staring at the screen all the while thinking I should give in and get myself a box of chocolate covered almonds after I got out of the office. I didn't. I reached home after midnight, took a shower and soon the exhaustion took over. I fell asleep with the lights on.

I'm up now and even when I grimaced whenever I see myself naked in front of the mirror, I am reminded that I want my dose of that happy drugs. Chocolate...the only thing that I won't consider throwing up. They go all the way down, even when it makes an unwanted delivery to my stomach, thighs, bottom among other body parts.

That, was confession#14.

PS:Happy Halloween by the way! Anyone dressing up as chocolate this year?