Let's get nuts

I reach home early today from work and just had egg sandwich for dinner. Sitting in the living room, I channel surfing trying to find any interesting program to watch. Failed at that, I watch absent-mindedly at what's showing on HBO. On impulse, I get up, head to the kitchen, open the fridge and take out a box of chocolate covered almond. My obsession. My downfall. My Pandora's box. I just can't resist. As I am savouring the combined flavour of chocolate and almond, it suddenly reminded me of one lecturer in university.

When I was in university with half baked ideas of what I wanted to do when I grew up, I found myself taking odd unconnected subjects every semester just to see which one would catch my interest. Even though I majored in Mass Communications, sub-majoring in Public Relations, I never think of myself ever working in this industry. I am not an ideal candidate to be chosen as a bridge to connect one human being to another. In all honesty, I myself need that kind of bridge to communicate with other human being.

So like I said, I was jumping from one class to another, testing the water to see whether it's enticing enough to tempt me to take a dive. One semester I was taking 'Feminist Movements' but decided I'm not much of a feminist and not really interested to learn how to be one. Another semester I was learning Criminology and dreamed about interviewing death row prisoner. I was clueless before as I am now about my purpose in life. And so that was why during one semester, I found myself in a Finance class. As weird as it may sound, it's a true story.

You could consider me a nerd since no matter how boring the lectures were, I forced myself to open my eyes wide and actually studied for the paper because I didn't want a bad grade. In the end, I did pretty well but as you might have guess, decided it wasn't my cup of tea. I long forget what I learnt in the class except a few bits here and there of how to balance my monthly budget. But you don't need to attend the class to know how to do that actually.

Anyway, we had few lecturers for this class, teaching different topics and they were all nice. But up until today, I only remember one lecturer from the class. I remember because he was one of the nicest lecturer I've had class with, but his classes bored me to tears and then, snores. Not really a good combination if you ask me. Oh, and not really on the snoring part. But I actually nodded off in this lecturer's class and couldn't be bothered if he saw it. This is coming from someone who never slept in class. Ever. I told you. I was a nerd.

I think the lecturer realized that his class was boring and tried his best to keep us from falling asleep. He would tell jokes just so we'd laugh and stay awake which was funnier than the jokes because he didn't know the difference between lecturing and telling a joke. We ended up confused and frowning, trying to find the humor part of the story, while he would re-tell the story, trying to make us understand it. It was quite painful to see him telling one joke after another and didn't get the laughter he wanted to see.

One day in class, as usual we listened to his lecture and after one hour, we stopped for a short break. Some students went out for toilet break and perhaps to splash water on their face. I stayed in, and as I predicted, the lecturer started telling us about one Clinton's joke. Some laughed half-heartedly, while some like me, weren't really listening. I laughed a little just to be polite, but I didn't even know what the joke was all about. Failing at making us laughed he decided to tell us another joke. Students were still like bees buzzing to each other and not really paying attention. It was after all, supposed to be a break time.

So he proceeded to tell us the joke and I appointed one ear to listen while another got a rest. It was about a very caring priest visiting an old lady from his congregation who couldn't attend the mass the previous Sunday because she was not feeling well. When the priest arrived, the old lady was in the middle of doing something, so she asked politely for him to wait in the living room. "Make yourself at home Father," she said.

Being an old lady, she took quite long to finish what she was doing and soon the priest grew a bit restless. He got up and picked up a book, flipped several pages and put it down again. He sat down and looked around. The house was neat with pretty decorations. In front of him was a coffee table with few magazines on top of it. Then the priest saw a bowl of almonds on the table. He reached for the bowl to take the almond, but stopped halfway. He should asked permission to eat it, he thought. But the old lady told him to make himself at home, he argued. He figured she must've meant that he could have some of the nuts. After all, the bowl was put on the coffee table. The old lady must've put it there for her guest, he reasoned with himself.

With that, the priest reached inside the bowl and took one almond and ate it. This is a very tasty almond, he thought. But he resisted taking another. The old lady was still not done with her works and not long after, the priest eyed the bowl of almonds again. Finally he caved in and took another one. And another. And another, until the bowl was empty. The priest felt guilty and ashamed. When the old lady finally came in the living room, the priest apologized profusely to her for finishing off the almonds.

"I am really sorry to eat all the almonds in that bowl. It was really delicious I couldn't help to eat them," he said all the while blushing like a schoolboy being caught at doing something naughty. The old lady kindly smiled and slowly walked into the living room using a cane.

"Oh, it's okay," she said. "I can only eat the chocolate."

I gave a startled laugh when I caught the meaning. It was the only joke that got all of us laughing.

Still grinning with reminiscent of the past, I look down on my chocolate box. The box is still full with chocolates, but the almonds are now missing.